Some excerpts from the book:
As Simone de Beauvoir observed so astutely over a quarter of a century ago, women accept the submissive role to "avoid the strain involved in undertaking an authentic existence." This flight from stress had become my hidden goal. I had slipped back- lounged back really, as into a large tub of tepid water- because it was easier.Men and women students were asked to write imaginative stories based on a clue, a lead sentnece designed to get test respondents thinking and feeling along certain lines. This was a the clue for the women students: "At the end of the first term finals Anne finds herself at the top of her medical school class." (For male students the clue was the same, with "John" at the top of the class instead of Anne.) [...] Dr Horner considered it a sign that Fear of Success was operating if students made statements indicating that they expected negative consequences to follow on the heels of any outstanding academic success. Negative consequences included the fear of being socially rejected or losing one's eligibility as a date or marriage partner, and fear of becoming isolated, lonely, or unhappy as a result of succeeding.Rather than risk a live without love, women apparently will give up a great deal-- drop out, turn their ambitions back, flee anxiously into the anonymity of the Eighty Percent... More than anything women wanted to experience themselves in relationship with another.It was beginning to become apparent that this conflict over working is strongly related to class. In Matina Horner's studies the women who were most disturbed about the possibility of future success tended to come from middle and upper middle class homes with successful fathers - father not unlike the current Ivy League men, who want non achieving women for wives. In these homes, the mother either didn't work at all or worked in less than a fully committed, professional way.The women who weren't so hung up on success came from lower-class home with mothers who were often better educated than their husbands and who usually worked throughout their lives. the daughters of these women didn't experience a conflict between achievement and femininity because they had grown up seeing the two happily integrated in their mothers.The relation between class distinction and women's conflict became even more obvious when, in later studies, Horner turned up a fascinating parallel between white women and black men. Both it turns out, are notably more anxious about succeeding than white men or black women."This tendency we have to scale ourselves down, to step back from our natural abilities rather than risk the loss of love is what I have termed the Gender Panic- the new confusion about our feminine identity. Rather than experience the anxiety of doing, we don't do."Horner continues her studies, now she only used as her subjects the "liberated" young women of late Sixties and early Seventies. What she found contradicted all our media formed impressions of the New Women: to wit, an even higher proportion of women were showing a Fear of Success.Women pay a higher price for their anxiety about succeeding. Martina Horner and her co-researchers concluded that able young women often inhibit themselves from even seeking success. In mixed sex competitive situations they will do more poorly than they could and many who end up succeeding in spite of themselves try to downgrade their performance afterwards. These women are not comfortably experiencing their own power and excellence. Confused and anxious, they will lower their career aspirations rather than experience discomfort.(After a fascinating story of Simone de Beauvoir's loss of sense of self, and self-worth after falling in love with Jean-Paul Sartre, and becoming swept up in bliss .. after a year in this state, after losing her zest for writing and idea-making, she took a teaching job far away and spent a year alone. She spent quite a bit of time going on solitary walks and treks, sometimes risking her life.) What does it mean to become ones own person? It means to take responsibility for one's own existence. To create one's own life, to devise one's own schedule. Simone de Beauvoir's hikes became both the method and the metaphor for her rebirth as an individual. "Alone I walked in the mists that hung over the summit of Sainte Victorie, and trod along the ridge of the Pilon de Roi, bracing myself against violent wind which sent my beret spinning down inro the valley below. Alone again, I got lost in a mountain ravine on the Luberon range. Such moments, with all the warmth, tenderness, and fury, belong to me, and no one else." (So beautiful!)It is when we assume the responsibility for our own problems that the center of gravity begins to make that crucial shift from the Other to the Self. at this point something remarkable happens. More energy becomes available to us. Energy that used to get lost in the Energy Leak, as we exhausted ourselves repressing those aspects of our personalities that we felt were unacceptable or frightening.
